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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24418249">Rock and a Hard Place</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrionRedde/pseuds/OrionRedde'>OrionRedde</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyrstyne/pseuds/Shyrstyne'>Shyrstyne</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heart Hotel Stands AU [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kingdom Hearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Gen, background trans character, low key sorikai feels, princess of heart powers, slightly higher key than before but still in the realm of gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:22:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24418249</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrionRedde/pseuds/OrionRedde, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyrstyne/pseuds/Shyrstyne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Mark of Mastery begins, and Sora's heartmates will have to deal with the consequences.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heart Hotel Stands AU [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1478012</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>186</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Back and Fill</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>here we go! i'm actually a little nervous about this one, because ddd is right up there with 358 as my favourite kh game, and unlike the 358 portion of this au, i definitely couldn't skim over this one. i hope i do it justice &gt;&lt;</p><p>also for a fic featuring nothing about boats, i sure did look at a lot of nautical terms last night.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Disney Castle is a whimsical place.</p><p>It’s strange to be here, visiting King Mickey and preparing for this so-called Mark of Mastery. Mickey had treated the group to the lap of luxury during their stay, and after nearly two years wandering between worlds with barely more than a coat to his name, Riku feels very out of place.</p><p>Still, it was nice. Queen Minnie was a gracious host, and had taken to all three kids like a mother hen, more than happy to talk as much as her busy schedule allowed her. She takes a particular shine to Riku, inviting him to tea and showing him around the castle far more than he thinks is standard for a guest, even an honoured one.</p><p>“Mickey’s told me so many stories.” She’d told him. “I feel like I know you already! But I do so want to know you on my own terms too, if you understand.”</p><p>He supposes he does. She’s a sweet lady, and he finds he likes her company as much as he does the King, both making him feel safe and at home. It’s… nice. It makes him think of how maybe parents are supposed to be. Like Sora’s parents. </p><p>It’s strange and a little overwhelming.</p><p>It is for this reason that it was a day or two before Riku found time to wander the comically large halls alone, needing to be by himself for a bit.</p><p>Well, as by himself as it was possible to be anyway. He feels Terra stir as his thoughts turn inward, but that’s all. He knows if he looks deeper he might find Ansem or Xemnas too, but he deliberately tries not too. Both had been all but silent since Xemnas had vanished into his heart. He’s not sure what became of them, silent as the grave as they are. He’s scared to look.</p><p>He’s not like Sora, finding the darkness and making it his friend. He wishes he was.</p><p>He pulls those feelings down, acknowledges them, and then pushes them aside. His jealousy over Sora was an old one, and one he knew better than to indulge now. He knows where that road leads, and it’s nowhere good.</p><p>He’s so deep in his thoughts it takes him completely by surprise when Terra suddenly startles awake, tugging <em> hard </em> at their emotional connection. Riku stops mid step, confused.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” He asks, thankful the hallways are notoriously empty around here. The feeling tugs again, this time with a direction associated with it. He looks up.</p><p>“The throne room?” He tilts his head. They hadn’t been barred from it, necessarily, but it seemed like a breach of etiquette to go in there without invitation somehow.</p><p>Terra tugs again, insistent. Riku takes a breath. What was the saying, better forgiveness than permission? He’d done far worse then entering an off-limits room after all; though he <em> was </em>trying to do better now that he’s starting to work through his guilt. Still, for a friend there is very little he wouldn’t do, so he finds the little entrance at the base of the large doors and steals inside without a sound.</p><p>He follows Terra’s tugging to the throne, and then past it, right up to the wall, where he’s stopped by the impassable brick. He frowns.</p><p>“There’s nothing here.” He murmurs, voice echoing hollowly in the empty chamber. Terra tugs again, down now. Riku backtracks to the only adornment of the large room- the throne. He puts one hand to his chin, tapping fingers in thought.</p><p>He doesn’t sit, though deep inside some childish part of him is tempted. He kicks at the carpet a little bit, and notes the fading and well covered scratches in the floor.</p><p>“A secret passage?” He asks empty air. Terra isn’t tugging anymore, sensing that Riku needs a moment to figure this out, but Riku can still tell he’s impatient. He does a circuit around the throne, inspecting it first at a distance, and then closer.</p><p>It takes him a few minutes, but he finds the button eventually, jumping back as the whole base starts to move, revealing the staircase beneath.</p><p>“Bingo.” He grins, pleased with himself, and starts heading down, anxiety now vanished in the face of a new mystery. Terra waits, intent and straining at the walls of his heart.</p><p>He comes to another large chamber, empty besides the brightest light he’s ever seen.</p><p>“The Cornerstone.” He realises, remembering stories Mickey had told him on the longer, darker parts of that lonely year. It’s beautiful, in its own, simplistic way. It’s also not at all what he’s here for, judging by the way Terra’s feelings tug him forward, past the ball entirely, and to the swirling darkness at the back of the room that seems wholly unaffected by the light directly before it.</p><p>“It’s a portal.” He knows one when he sees it, and that’s most certainly what it is. He can feel Terra reaching for it, something pulling him towards it almost desperately.</p><p>He wonders if it’s wise to go through alone, when no one knows where he is or that this is here, but Terra’s desperation goes up in pitch even at the thought of leaving to come back later. He decides it’s a risk he’ll just have to take, and steps through.</p><p>He comes out in a desert.</p><p>The wind blows, hot and dry against his skin, and something about the oppressive atmosphere here makes the hair on his arms stand on end. He’s never seen a more empty place, and that includes the realm of darkness.</p><p>Terra tugs him onward from within, something calling insistently to him.</p><p>He almost misses the armour at first, coloured in the same drab browns as the dirt around it, still and unmoving, caked in years of dust and dirt. It’s rusted and cracked, and for a moment Riku contemplates the statue despite Terra’s heart near singing at the sight of it.</p><p>And then… it moves.</p><p>He takes a single step back as the armour creaks, keyblade used as a prop as it stands to its full height. It’s only a bit taller than him, but something about it is imposing. Intimidating.</p><p>“You are… the one… I chose…..” It speaks, and in Riku’s mind, the pieces slot together all at once.</p><p>He <em> recognizes </em> that keyblade. Terra’s heart continues to reach blindly for its missing piece.</p><p>“I am.” Riku says. The armour groans with each slow movement as it steps towards him, but he does not doubt it could move with great power if it chose to. “Have you been here all this time, Terra?”</p><p>“You…. kept… your promise….?” It ignores the question. Riku sighs.</p><p>“I lost my way, for a while, but I did, eventually.” He thinks. He hopes. He’d forgotten it for a while. For too long. It all seems so clear now though. The armour comes to a stop in front of him.</p><p>“Good...” It raises one hand, though to do what Riku isn’t sure. “Aqua… Ven……. Xe… ha… nort… must…. be….”</p><p>Guardian rises from Riku’s shoulders, dark and writhing.</p><p>“We’ll stop him. Together.” Riku says. Xehanort's plan is still a mystery, but Vanitas had been sure there was one. It’s all he can offer this ghost. “And we’ll find your friends.”</p><p>Guardian reaches out, and as the armour and dark touch there is a brilliant flash of light and dark, blinding Riku for several long moments. He shields his eyes in vain, attempting to mitigate the effect with little success.</p><p>When it fades he looks up, blinking still sensitive eyes at something he isn’t even sure he’s really seeing.</p><p>The Guardian has changed.</p><p>The armour is gone, but it’s pieces are still evident along Guardians now more streamlined figure. He looks just a little more human now, though certainly no more so than any other of the heart projections. His skin is still purple and his eyes still glow yellow. The wrappings along his body look more akin to bandages than bindings now. He turns to Riku.</p><p>Peace filters through their bond, the obvious joy at having reunited with a lost part of himself apparent even above the fact that said piece was comprised mostly of will and rage. Terra vanishes back into Riku’s heart, and Riku let’s out a heady exhale.</p><p>“Good thing we came out this way, huh?”</p><p><em> “Yes, it is.” </em>He hears in return, startling Riku. It was near crystal clear, something he isn’t used to hearing from Terra.</p><p>“That really helped then.” He rests a hand over his heart, feeling the other one within thrum happily.</p><p>
  <em> “It’s still not all of me, but… It’s more. It’s more whole than I ever thought I would be again. Thank you, Riku.” </em>
</p><p>“Anytime.” Riku returns with relief. “Anytime.”</p><p>-</p><p>“Riku that’s amazing!” Sora shouts with glee, hopping off the bed he’d been lounging on with Kairi in the King’s guest suite. Riku flushes and ducks his head, unused to the compliments and still not feeling wholly deserving of them. He hadn’t done much really, just acted as the transportation for the pieces of Terra’s heart.</p><p>Ventus forms in the air, bouncing to and fro, clearly excited. He makes a ‘come on’ gesture impatiently. Riku finds himself smiling at Ven’s joy, and a moment later Guardian forms between them.</p><p>“Hey, Ven.” The voice is raspy and it’s obviously difficult, but it’s also obvious that it’s much less difficult than it was before. He raises his arms and Ventus launches himself into them with enthusiasm. </p><p>“I still don’t get why Terra can talk but none of mine can.” Sora ponders. “Is it me?”</p><p>“I doubt it.” Riku shakes his head. “Naminé can’t either. I think Terra’s just… unique.”</p><p>“It makes sense to me.” Kairi agrees. “Who else has willpower strong enough to survive as a suit of armour for almost a decade?”</p><p>“It is pretty incredible, I guess.” Sora concedes the point, but his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and both his friends glance at each other, knowing what that means. </p><p>“You’ve done great, Sora.” Kairi entreats. Riku nods. </p><p>“If it seems like it’s been easier for me, it’s probably only because I had you to pave the way.”</p><p>Ven turns, having clearly heard the conversation, and lightly socks Sora on the shoulder and gives him a thumbs up. Sora's smile does turn genuine then, and he nods. </p><p>“Right. Thanks guys. And sorry- I didn’t mean to make it about me.”</p><p>“You don’t have to put on a brave face for us, Sora.” Riku kneels, concerned.</p><p>“All this has been hard for you too, just like it’s been hard on all of us.” Kairi adds. “We’re in this together.”</p><p>“Right.” Sora grins, putting his hand out like he often did with Donald and Goofy. “Together.”</p><p>-</p><p>The depths of Riku’s heart is the only place Terra looks like himself these days. </p><p>It’s not ideal, certainly, but he’s grateful. It’s better than being bound to a megalomaniac for eternity, or trapped in a suit of armour in an empty desert.</p><p>He has both sets of memories, fuzzy though they are, and he tries not to examine them too closely. Knowing he has these concurrent memories makes his head hurt, he can only imagine what might happen when he gets his body’s memories back as well. </p><p>Speaking of…</p><p>“So if you’re here… where is my body?”</p><p>Xemnas looks back at him, his every movement slow and listless. His presence here at all had been a surprise to all involved, including Xemnas himself. He had expected to be merged with the parts he had originated from, but it appeared that was no longer possible. Rather than raging at the unexpected turn though, Xemnas’ demeanor is almost… demure, a far cry from how Ansem had pestered Riku after his joining.</p><p>“I do not know.” His deep tones sound the words slowly. “It has been theorized that the body reforms in the place its heart was lost, but when was that? Was it when Xehanort first possessed you? Was it when No Name was thrust upon you both, tearing you in twain? Or perhaps when the apprentice Xehanort tore himself and the other apprentices asunder in search of answers. It is uncertain.”</p><p>“That’s still only a few places. We can work with that.” Terra argues, and then pauses. “I thought you didn’t remember your time from before.”</p><p>“I do not, in truth. I was told the parts of import by Xigbar, and thus their veracity is suspect.” Xemnas doesn’t seem terribly upset by this, and continues to float above his blank station listlessly. </p><p>Terra finds himself looking down at the depressingly empty heartspace beneath Xemnas before he’s distracted by a third voice. </p><p>“What’s more I think you are forgetting something. Who will reform from this body? It could be any of us, or possibly something new entirely.” Ansem stands upon his own station. It has more on it than Xemnas’ does, though not by much. A young Riku and Guardian stare up from among stylized wisps of Darkness. Terra frowns. </p><p>“It could be the original Xehanort too.” He has to face the possibility, even if he hates the thought. “I really…. would be lost, if that’s the case.”</p><p>And isn’t that a morose thought?</p><p>He sits, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees. It’s sobering as possibilities go, and he’s not entirely sure what he would do if that were to happen. </p><p>Well, he’d kill Xehanort to start, but everything after that was murky at best. </p><p>Ansem looks over to Xemnas, who’s answer is a slow blink and tilt of his head.</p><p>“You are here are you not?” Ansem barks. “You have faced incredible trials and survived, surely that means something?”</p><p>“Of course it does!” Terra protests, but his voice is weak. “But how can I look for Aqua like this? How can I be with my friends again when two of us are trapped in other people’s hearts?”</p><p>Xemnas sighs.</p><p>“You who have outstubborned the universe itself, you give in so easily?”</p><p>“I’m not giving in.” Terra says. “I just.. don’t know where to start.”</p><p>Ansem scoffs. </p><p>“Take that darkness in your heart boy, the one that’s always been there. Get up. Fight! You have determination and faith, and if there is one thing I have learned it’s that these two things are capable of incredible feats. You merely need to enact it.”</p><p>Terra huffs a laugh, and when he looks up the spark of determination in his eyes is strong once more. </p><p>“You know what? You’re right.”</p><p>-</p><p>A single text from Ienzo sends Sora’s heartmates into an uproar.</p><p>“Lea could come back!” Roxas cheers even as tears of relief flood his eyes. “There’s still a chance!”</p><p>“We’ll be together again soon.” Xion takes his hands and spins him around, both too happy to sit still. “We’ll go to the beach!”</p><p>At a distance, Ven smiles. Vanitas sits next to him, but his body is turned away, frowning.</p><p>“It’s only a chance.” Vanitas murmurs, not loud enough the celebrating children can hear. Ven pouts.</p><p>“It’s something at least.”</p><p>“When has chance ever been kind of any of us, Ventus?” Vanitas scoffs and then stands, retreating to his own station, vanishing from Ven’s sight the moment he steps foot on it.</p><p>Ven frowns again. </p><p>-</p><p>Sora doesn’t like this. </p><p>“For the duration of your exam, your companions, your… ‘heartmates’ will be suspended. This task is to judge <em> your </em> abilities, not those around you, and so you will not be able to summon them for assistance.” Yen sid’s explanation makes perfect sense, but there’s something that worries Sora. </p><p>“Will they still be able to see? Can I still talk to them?” He asks. “I don’t want to trap them any more than they already are.”</p><p>“Yes, Sora, they will still be able to see and hear the world around. I am merely limiting their ability to interact with it for a short time.” Yen Sid responds, before turning his head. “This goes for yourself and young Terra as well, Riku.”</p><p>“Of course.” Riku nods. </p><p><em> “I’m really not that young anymore…” </em> Terra grumbles from within. </p><p>“We understand.” Riku continues. Sora deflates, but seems to accept it. </p><p>“Yeah. I don’t like it, but it makes sense. This is so we can prove we can be Masters, after all.”</p><p>“Assuming your safeguarded hearts gain their own forms, I would be happy to perform their own examinations. However for now I wish to focus on you two.” Yen Sid opens a large book, somehow making the movement imperious. “Before we begin, there are some things I must elucidate. Perhaps Ventus remembers his own friends' examinations; take heed, this test shall be much different…”</p><p>-</p><p>The dream worlds are strange. Sora finds himself instantly enamored.</p><p>-</p><p>Komory bats fur is delightfully soft, Riku happily finds.</p><p>-</p><p>Things start going odd almost immediately.</p><p>-</p><p>Sora is resting at the caravan in la cite de cloches when Vanitas speaks. </p><p>
  <em> “Riku didn’t tell Yen Sid about Xemnas or Ansem.” </em>
</p><p>Huh. </p><p>“Nope.” Sora shrugs. “I probably wouldn’t either, after how he treated Haru. Besides, aren’t they asleep? Riku said he hasn’t felt anything from them since before Terra woke up.”</p><p><em> “Hm.” </em> Vanitas sounds unimpressed. <em> “It does mean he has the advantage though.” </em></p><p>“It’s not a contest, Vani.” Sora snorts, before what he’s actually saying sinks in. “Wait- Riku wouldn’t <em> cheat </em>!”</p><p>Sora can feel Vanitas’ metaphorical shrug. </p><p>
  <em> “And I bet two years ago you’d have said he wouldn’t destroy the islands either, and yet here we are.” </em>
</p><p>Sora bares his teeth, angry at Vanitas for the first time in ages. </p><p>“He- that’s different! He made some mistakes but he’s better now! What the heck, Vanitas?”</p><p>There’s the impression of an indifferent shrug, and then he retreats, leaving Sora feeling alone and confused. He doesn’t know if he can drop to his heart stations in these already sleeping places, or if that will mess with his exam. He frowns. </p><p>“... Guys?”</p><p><em> “We’re here, Sora.” </em> That's Xion. He hears Roxas mutter something too, as well as a quiet affirmation from Ven.</p><p>“Could someone check on Vani for me?” He asks. “I don’t know if it’s anything really, I just have the feeling that somethings wrong.”</p><p><em> “I’ll do it.” </em> Xion volunteers. <em> “I think he went deeper in, so I’ll be gone a bit.” </em></p><p><em> “You can still see his station?” </em> Ventus asks. <em> “I haven’t seen it in… ages.” </em></p><p>Sora’s brows furrow. They’d had fights and tussles certainly, recently even, but the sort where they gave each other the cold shoulder for weeks at a time had waned over the years. He gives a mental poke at Ven, who doesn’t answer. Huh.</p><p><em> “Tread carefully.” </em> Roxas mutters. He gets on well enough with Vanitas, both sharing their own anger over their short lives being little more than prisons, but not knowing why he was upset meant his temper was a danger.</p><p>Sora knows he wouldn’t lash out so physically; not anymore anyway, but the possibility of hurt feelings was a very real one, and lets the warning stand. He wishes he could go check in on Vanitas himself, but the ability is locked to him until he finishes this exam. Hopefully it’s nothing serious, and he’s just being moody. It happens sometimes.</p><p>He stands and stretches. That keyhole wouldn’t find itself after all.</p><p>Time to get moving.</p><p>-</p><p>Haru stands paralyzed at the door.</p><p><em> “Just check in on them while I’m gone.” </em> Sora had asked as he’d prepared to leave for his exam. <em> “I feel bad about leaving again so soon.” </em></p><p>Haru wonders why he’s so afraid. He’d been here before, though only briefly. He wouldn’t admit even to himself that he’d avoided it ever since, eschewing Sora’s offers for him to visit with various thin excuses.</p><p>“Coward.” He berates himself. He hates it. He raises his fist and knocks.</p><p>“Coming!” A voice calls from inside, followed by the thump of hurried footsteps. The door swings open, and a face he doesn’t recognize greets him.</p><p>“Oh, Riku! I thought you’d left for your.. Test…. Thing…” She pauses, and then tilts her head.</p><p>“My name is Haru.” He doesn’t bother explaining how he’s not Riku anymore, and he’s too thrown off by the unexpected face to gather his thoughts enough for it anyway. “Is- Is Kaze home?”</p><p>“Oh! Yes, one moment.” She turns away, calling up a nearby flight of stairs. “Dear! Someone for you!”</p><p>A muffled call answers, and a few moments later Kaze appears on the stairs, a bounce in her step. A wide grin splits her face as she sees Haru at the door.</p><p>“Haru!” She exclaims, rushing the last few steps to take her face in his hands, checking him over. “It’s so good to see you! I was wondering if you would ever take me up on that offer. Lia! This is that boy I was telling you about!”</p><p>“I don’t know if- I’m not staying.” He tries to resist, but he leans into her touch, warm and soft despite the heavy calluses. “I just- Sora asked me to check in on you.”</p><p>“Mh hm.” She makes a noncommittal noise, clearly not buying it as the whole truth. “I’m sure he did. Come in, dear. Lia, I put some water on to boil earlier could you grab the kettle?”</p><p>“Of course.” The woman claps her hands once and moves away with purpose. Kaze leads Haru into the home, towards the living room he notices.</p><p>“Who was…?” He trails off.</p><p>“You don’t remember her?” Kaze asks. It’s not a reprimand, just a question. He doesn’t know how to feel about that.</p><p>“No- I thought- nevermind. Where’s Sora’s dad?” He hadn’t seen him last time Haru had been in this house either. Kaze makes an ‘oh dear’ noise.</p><p>“You really do have only the most scattered of memories, don’t you?” She smiles. “Don’t feel bad, Aurelia only transitioned a few years ago, any older memories you have of her would be of a very different looking person.”</p><p>“... Oh.” He’s still not sure he understands, but he doesn’t know how to ask. Or even <em> what </em> to ask.</p><p>“Don’t worry too much about it, sweetheart.” Kaze soothes. “You’re here to get to know us both on your own terms anyways.”</p><p>Was he?</p><p>He supposes so.</p><p>“Here we go.” Aurelia steps into the room, a platter of cups and a teapot balanced carefully on one arm. She sets them on a little coffee table, and Kaze picks up the teapot to pour into the various cups.</p><p>Haru moves to take a sip, but Kaze stops him with a gentle hand.</p><p>“Let it steep for a few minutes first.” She advises. “It gives it more flavour.”</p><p>“Oh.” He says again, feeling foolish. He sets the cup down.</p><p>“May I ask what brings you here today?” Aurelia asks politely. Haru chews on his cheek, not really sure how to answer that.</p><p>“Sora asked me to check up on you. As a favour.” It’s a repetition of what he’s already said, but he hopes that’s enough.</p><p>“Of course he would.” Aurelia chuckles. “But why?”</p><p>Haru finds the words stuck in his throat. He glances at Kaze.</p><p>“Because he worries.” Kaze answers.</p><p>“He’s a sweet child with a big heart.” Aurelia agrees. “Sometimes I think he forgets we’re grown women.”</p><p>Kaze laughs.</p><p>“He’ll learn. Those ghosts of his certainly didn’t help.”</p><p>“Terrors, both of them!” Aurelia waves an arm dramatically. “I cannot tell you how many times I caught Vanitas rearranging the fridge in the dead of the night. Between him and Ventus they had our baby thinking he could do just about anything.</p><p>“We had to work hard to make sure that didn’t get too out of hand.” Kaze nods. “But he’s turned into a fine young teenager if I do say so myself. Still, I’m grateful to those boys, terrors though they may be.”</p><p>“Me too.” Aurelia’s eyes grow soft. “I have no idea how many times they kept Sora from some tumble or scrape, but I know what I did see and I’m glad they were there.”</p><p>“He thought he was invincible, our Sora.” Kaze turns to Haru. “Maybe you remember. Because he had those ghosts to help him he thought nothing could hurt him, and he managed to get himself into all sorts of dangerous places he shouldn’t have.”</p><p>“Like my boat.” Aurelia murmurs, and they both fall quiet. Haru has a faint memory of that.</p><p>“A… storm?” It’s a faint memory, one Riku wasn’t even present for, so Haru’s recollection is muddled at best.</p><p>Kaze nods.</p><p>“He was too young for Aurelia’s daily fishing trips to be very exciting, but I guess he thought maybe there would be an adventure there.”</p><p>“No one was expecting a storm that day, it took the whole island by surprise. I wasn’t the only boat caught on those waves.” Aurelia continues. “Between trying to keep the boat upright and Sora… I’m amazed we made it back alive.”</p><p>Haru remembers fear. Riku had been with Kaze, waiting out the storm, wondering where Sora was and wanting nothing more than to go find him.</p><p>“I’d been a little bit scared of Sora’s ghosts at first.” Aurelia admits. “But that day in the storm… They were as desperate as I was to keep Sora safe. It was in that moment we understood each other, and I’ve been grateful to them ever since.”</p><p>Kaze nods.</p><p>“It was strange getting used to them, but once we did... They seem like good boys. They didn’t deserve what happened to them. I hope we get to meet them properly one day. Them <em> and </em> the new one’s he somehow acquired.”</p><p>“You will.” Haru murmurs. “Sora will make sure of it.”</p><p>Aurelia smiles, the bright, confident one he’s seen on Sora sometimes.</p><p>“He will.” She answers, knowing it’s the truth.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Allision</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Allision: when something significant comes into contact with the hull of a boat, but does not breach it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ho boy it has been. a week. not gonna harp on it, so i have only two things to say.</p><p>black lives matter.</p><p>and things will change.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Xion drops into the beach. It’s both easier and harder now- easier because the drop is shorter, more like taking a few steps than a long fall, and also harder- there feels like a resistance moving against them as they go. It’s strange, and she chalks it up to some side effect of Sora being in these sleeping realms, or perhaps Yen Sid’s magic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas is laying on the sand, staring up at the sky. She sits next to him, black coat already warming in the faux sun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you doing?” She asks. He frowns, but doesn’t answer right away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The sun moved.” He says, and she quirks her head at the non sequitur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So?” She asks when he doesn’t elaborate. He squints up at the sky as though it has answers it is withholding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s never moved before. It was always midday.” It’s still late afternoon by the looks of it, plenty of sun around, though the shadows are a bit longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Strange.” Xion gnaws on her lip. Now that it’s pointed out, it does seem very odd, and she doesn’t know what to make of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter I guess.” He shrugs, deliberately unbothered. “Why are you here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s still not looking at her, she notices, and she frowns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to know if you were okay. You seem kind of on edge lately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughs sharply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh this is nothing. You should have seen me before getting trapped here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know you before.” Xion tries. “But I like to think I know you now, and I thought something might be wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He snorts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know anything.” He snaps, turning on the sand to lay on his side, back to her. “I’m fine. You can leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not how it looks to me.” The softness in her voice makes something ugly boil in his chest. He sits up and sneers at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, you don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>trust</span>
  </em>
  <span> me to tell the truth?” He bares his teeth and pretends it doesn’t make his heart twist to see the hurt that flashes across her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not it.” She says, voice unbending and confident despite how he knows she must want to run. Everything in him wants to keep going, pour his hurt and anger on her for being the first person to poke at the wound, but he forces it down, and instead flops back onto the sand, curling up on his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever. Go away.” He wills his voice not to tremble, and mostly succeeds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels the sand shift as Xion lays next to him. It’s quiet for a long time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know things can be complicated.” She starts. Vanitas says nothing and gives no indication he’s even listening, but she barrels on regardless. “When I found out what was happening to me- what would happen to Roxas if I did nothing.. I was scared. I didn’t want to give up everything precious to me, but there wasn’t any other choice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas wonders where she’s going with this. He’s well aware of what happened to her, after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I should have told Roxas what was happening. I wonder if he blames me the same way he blames Axel. He should.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas’ eyes narrow. She’s right, in a way, but he also knows the other boy would never in a million years blame her. He couldn’t either. He knows well the trials of being a victim of circumstance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I betrayed his trust too. Maybe more, after what I made him do.” She sighs. “I’m… really grateful he still cares about me so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns, still silent, to lay on his back, tilting his head only slightly so he can see Xion out of the corner of his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess what I’m saying is.. Trust is complicated. And sometimes we say or do things we don’t really mean. Or that hurts someone by accident.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh. She’s talking about Ventus. He’s not as subtle as he thought he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Vanitas finally speaks. Xion tilts her head towards him fully, looking away from the sky she’d been studying before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you should talk to him. I don’t think he realizes it hurt you so badly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure he does. He’s avoiding me. I deserve it anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Xion says with finality. “I know I wasn’t there in the beginning but.. It was a long time ago, and you guys made up, right? It wasn’t fair of him to react like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wasn’t fair of me not to tell him where his friends were either.” Vanitas knows that now, far too late to matter. Xion puffs out her cheeks in frustration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it wasn’t. And that’s something you should talk about too. Apologize for real.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas makes a face, which at least prompts a smile from his companion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean it.” She continues. “You both have every right to be upset over it, but the longer you let this drag out the worse it’s going to get.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Roxas talked?” He deflects, which she notices but allows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some.” She answers. “We still need to do more, but yeah. We talked. There are some things we can’t really clear up until-” She stops, and her expression grows sombre.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Until?” He prompts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Until Axel can talk with us too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ah. Vanitas turns his gaze back to the sky, uncomfortable with her grief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He might come back yet. The way Ienzo thinks they might.” He doesn’t believe it, but he lies for her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just like you lie to everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>, a voice in the back of his mind sneers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope so.” She whispers. “I hurt him too. I want to tell him I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas says nothing. He won’t tell her Axel will come back for sure, and he won’t promise they’ll get their own bodies again like Sora would. He’ll lie, but he has no use for promises he can’t make happen himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he’s left with nothing else to say, and so the silence lingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... Can I ask you something?” Xion turns to face him again, and this time he turns his own head to face her properly, a silent assent. She pauses, clearly torn, before pushing ahead with her question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If- when we get our own bodies, what do you think will happen?”</span>
</p><p><span>“What do you mean?” He hadn’t really thought about it, if he’s being honest. There were too many unknowns…. And some part of him didn’t</span> really <span>believe he would ever truly be free. The only freedom he had ever known was from the original Ventus before he’d been torn in two, and even then he had been puppeted by unseen strings. What was freedom to someone who had never known it?</span></p><p>
  <span>“It’s just…” She pauses, trying to sort her thoughts. “Will we still be able to feel each other after? Will people remember me again, or is all that lost outside our hearts? Who… Who will I look like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinks. Xion sits up, drawing her knees to her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will I still be siphoning memories from Roxas- or Sora- everyone around them? How will they fix that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas returns his gaze to the sky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure the science types will have something in mind, considering they made you that way in the first place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I’m not like how I started. What if they can’t fix it? What if I never have my own face?” She trails off. Vanitas sits up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss my old face sometimes too.” He says, and she looks up, surprised. He grins at her, though it’s more a baring of teeth. “What, did you think Sora just </span>
  <em>
    <span>happens</span>
  </em>
  <span> to look just like me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I just.. Didn’t really think about it. I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly.” He nods. “No one else will either. People might comment, but it doesn’t automatically put you in their shadow. You’re still you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...What if I’m not?” She asks. He shrugs. “I was supposed to be Roxas, and that’s not what happened either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cross that bridge when you get to it.” He crosses his legs. “I’d stop worrying about it. Did you ever </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be Roxas?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” The answer is instinctive as she shakes her head. “Even when I didn’t know anything at all, I knew… That wasn’t me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That means something.” Vanitas says with finality. “Your heart grew on it’s own terms, outside factors or no.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Xion is quiet. Vanitas closes his eyes, appreciating the silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still feel like a fraud.” She gives a self deprecating chuckle. “If I really am my own person, why do I feel…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas doesn’t know what to say to that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All these different people, different memories.. It takes up a lot of space in my head.” She continues. “I never played on a warm beach with my closest friends, but I remember their laughter and the sand between my toes. I remember being alone and lost, but I abandoned my friends before they even had the chance to abandon me. I remember being both a boy and a girl. I don’t know where all that begins and I end.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas takes a deep breath. This was out of his wheelhouse. It was a good thing he liked this kid so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She glances over at him, maybe a little offended but mostly curious. He chews on his next words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It sounds shitty. We’ve all got our fair share of that. I think.. You just need time. It’ll sort itself out.” He looks up at the deepening blue sky. “And gender’s overrated anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Xion’s head tilts in confusion. He shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was born out of a kid’s darkness. You think that has a gender? The only reason people call me a boy is because Ventus was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was?” Of course that was the part Xion would focus on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The original.” Vanitas clarifies. “Me and Ven.. We’re something else. Made our own choices. You’d have to ask Ven for his side.” It’s not like it was something they ever really talked about. It all seemed like a waste of time to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Xion ponders that, and then gives him a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Xion says. “Can I ask how you and Sora…?” A circular gesture around the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About my face?” He intuits, and she nods. “I guess. It’s an old story…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even Ansem’s station has things, people on it.” Terra asks one day. Xemnas floats above his blank white space, observing nothing at all. “Why doesn’t yours?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am a nobody.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We both know that doesn’t mean a damn thing.” Terra points out. Xemnas closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t it? I believed we could not make connections, could not care, and so I did not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra distantly hears Ansem laugh, but the other man’s station is shrouded today, hidden from their sight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I believe that.” Terra hums. “What about now, though? You could start.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trapped in an endless abyss with only fragments of my other selves for company. I think not.” Xemnas retorts. Terra frowns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know we’re more than that now. We all are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does not matter.” Xemnas sighs. “None of it matters. Whatever chance I had at life is wasted. I am but a single piece of someone else and that is all I was ever destined to be. Who am I, without you? Without </span>
  <em>
    <span>him?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra stands, walking to the edge of his station. He’s never entered Xemnas’ heartspace, and even now he doesn’t. He reaches out a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well.. Why don’t we find out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joshua’s apparent instant understanding of Riku’s motivations rubs him the wrong way. Riku can’t stop himself following him despite knowing that, lured in hook line and sinker with the mention of Sora’s name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The explanation of Dreamers and Dreams is still confusing, but Riku follows enough to roll with it. His mission is still clear, find the keyholes, make sure Sora’s okay. Nothing else really mattered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows Joshua’s projection of Sora is merely a visual tool to help him explain, but it feels almost mean. Riku stops himself just shy of reaching out to touch the transparent ghost of his friend, dropping his hands to his side in closed fists. The feeling he had before returns, the one that screams that something was wrong, and Sora needed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s strange, but he has no way to follow up on it, so he keeps going.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mission hasn’t changed, after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woo!” Sora cheers as he bounces through the circus trampolines. “Did you guys see that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It was,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Vanitas yawns. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Great, Sora.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, you sound so enthused.” Sora teases, swinging his keyblade idly. Vanitas snorts.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Just tired. Go do your thing, kid.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since when do you guys get tired?” Sora asks, though he gets distracted by Meow Wow bouncing around him, begging for pets, which he happily gives.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Since now.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Vanitas grumbles. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Go on, aren't you looking for Pinocchio, dummy?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going, I’m going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the rush, kiddo. Not like a sleeping world can go anywhere.” A strange voice calls out, putting Sora on high alert, looking around frantically for the source.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Up here~” The voice singsongs, and Sora looks up to a flagpole peak to see a vaguely familiar face grinning down at him. He can’t quite place it at first, but thankfully his heartmates recognize him easily.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Xigbar!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Roxas hisses, and the tangled knot of grief and rage are nearly overwhelming, but Sora keeps himself steady, pursing his lips and tightening his hold on his keyblade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You-” Sora stumbles. “You’re the one who-” His memory is fuzzy, but he remembers the feelings well enough, and combined with the ones pouring off of Roxas and Xion, it’s enough to almost knock the breath from his lungs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gonna have to be more specific.” Xigbar leans back, somehow lounging against thin air, ponytail dangling in the breeze. He makes a show of inspecting nails hidden beneath black gloves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the one who killed Axel!” Sora shouts. Xigbar scoffs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As if. I was aiming for you, little brat. Not my fault he got in the way.” He rolls his one remaining eye. “Course, not that it matters, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Sora scowls up at him. “He’ll come back. Just like you and Even did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Xigbar flips off the pole, vanishes, and then reappears in front of Sora. He’s holding no gun this time, but it makes the boy flinch in memory anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, maybe, anyway.” Xigbar’s retort is flippant. “After all, plenty of former members of ours never reformed. Before Even in fact, it was just a theory.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s.. Because there wasn’t a keyblade before.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Xion says, but the anxiety pouring off her tells that she’s not so sure. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Right?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. The heartless has to be defeated too, that’s why there weren’t any before. He’ll come back!” Sora says defiantly. Xigbar’s smirk only grows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? A billion or more heartless, how many have you killed? How do you know you’ve defeated </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> heartless?” He leans down. “Face it, kid. You have no idea if he’s coming back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stands straight again before Sora can wrangle his emotions back in check and deck him, striding away with long legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahhh it’s for the best anyway, ain’t it? After all, hate for him to have to face the music of the things he did, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Sora has no idea what he’s talking about for a long moment. Xigbar twirls a hand lazily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His friends trapped, his boyfriend dead… not that they even got </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>far. Shows them for waiting, tch.” He tosses his head dramatically. “No one left alive to even really care about him, and plenty of people who don’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gotta wonder what kind of hard feelings Even has, he always struck me as the bitter type. But I shouldn’t be so hard on him, should I? After all, if we’re human” He looks over his shoulder at Sora. “You have almost more blood on your hands than he does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora’s heart seizes with a guilt that’s as old as it is powerful at this point. He can feel Vanitas struggling against the restraints keeping him inside Sora’s heart, rage awakened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- That’s-” He stutters, but the excuses he repeats to himself at night don’t come so easily now. Xigbar turns and stalks a circle around Sora.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All those people hiding out in your heart because they’re trapped with nowhere to go. Gotta say that’d drive me batty, but maybe that’s just me. I guess those don't really count, huh? Not like you struck the killing blow on them. The other Organization members on the other hand…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He trails off meaningfully, but it doesn’t last as he does another circle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But hey, I’m sure they’re fine, right? Poor Demyx only ever wanted to hang out and make music. Maybe he’ll get lucky and come back… Or of course maybe he won’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxas’ guilt settles next to Sora’s own. He’d been driven then as much by Roxas’ anger towards the Organization as a whole as he had been by necessity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Xaldin! Kind of an asshole, can’t blame you for that one, and hey you didn’t even strike the killing blow on </span>
  <em>
    <span>him.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Miss Princess had the honours there. I wonder what happens to a nobody that’s not killed by a keyblade. Probably just die.” Xigbar laughs like it’s some kind of joke. Sora feels like he can’t breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Larxene and Marluxia.. they probably had it coming, right? Self defence. Must have stung though, taken out by someone who was once a friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora doesn’t remember that, but the guilt comes anyways, this time from Ven and Vani. Ventus shrinks back, but Vanitas just rages all the harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop it! Just stop!” Sora cries out. His voice cracks. “What are you even trying to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do? Nothin’.” Xigbar shrugs. “I’ve had my fun. See you at the end, kiddo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then he’s gone, like he was never there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora’s breath hitches, and he pushes back a sob. Too many emotions, many not even his own. It hurts.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m gonna kill that fucker.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Vanitas growls. He feels Roxas and Xion retreat, trying to collect themselves. He doesn’t know what Ven is doing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I think I need a sec.” Sora murmurs. He knows he’s supposed to be looking for Pinocchio, but it’s too much to process. The guilt alone drags at his chest, pulls him back.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You did what you had to.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Vanitas says, voice rough with anger. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“No one blames you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>No, Sora thinks. But he blames himself, and seeing it all so easily brought to the surface by an enemy…. It wasn’t good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’ll just take a minute, he decides as he sits down with his back against a graffiti covered wall. Just a minute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Xigbar.” Roxas says. “He likes messing with people. Axel will come back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Xion worries her lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But… But what if he’s not? What if he’s really gone for good and the last time we really saw each other was when I-” Her breath hitches.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We saw each other at the mansion.” Roxas interrupts, expression firm. “That counts. And he’s not gone. He’ll come back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope so.” Xion looks away, trying to hide the tears welling in her eyes. Roxas leans over, letting their shoulders brush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Esmerelda understands Riku too, and understands why he won’t talk about it either. He hangs back, after that, wanting to ask but afraid to bring voice to the things he’s only just recently admitted to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She still understands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you,” She smiles. “Sometimes we’re not ready to tell the world. That includes me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” He shakes his head. “But.. I guess I wanted to know if you had some advice. I don’t know if I’ll ever get this chance again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t say I’m not disappointed you don’t think you’ll ever come visit.” Esmerelda takes a seat on a nearby barrel, patting the space next to it as an indication for him to join her. He takes it, feeling somewhat awkward and anxious. “Would you like my general advice, or something more specific?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C… Could we start with general?” He wishes whatever was lodged in his throat would come loose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These things take time, and that’s okay.” She takes one of his hands. “I don’t know what it is you’re struggling with, but it’s okay to need time to figure it out. Just don’t push people away while you do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He lets a smile grace his face. “I learned that one that hard way, actually. It’s more.. Something I struggled with. Now I just.. Don’t know how to talk about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That takes time too.” Esmerelda nods. “And a lot of practice runs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stares at her, the wheels in his brain turning. He’s probably creeping her out, but she gives no indication of it as his mind whirls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s never coming back here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one will ever know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes widen in surprise as he blurts his longest held secret to her, and panic burrows itself deep in his chest as soon as he does it. Her stunned look morphs into a smile, and she leans forward, reaching up to cup his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is never anything wrong with a love like that.” She says, fire in her eyes. “Never let anyone tell you different again. Including yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s something deep inside Riku that has desperately needed to hear that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why won’t you tell Riku that you’re here, that you’re awake?” Terra asks. Ansem glares at him, chin tilted upwards imperiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is none of your concern.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, I think it is though.” Terra argues. “Since we’re all here, sharing his heart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The less the boy knows the better.” Ansem waves a hand, turning away from Terra. “It does no good to give away a potential advantage.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could tell him. It’d be easy.” Terra leans back, a mischievous smile on his lips. It’s surprisingly simple, teasing these two, Ansem especially. He’s so easily wound up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do not.” Ansem’s gaze snaps back to him from over his shoulder. Terra opens a window outside with a flick of his wrist. Ansem makes a sharp cutting motion, clearly angry, but he cannot speak without Riku hearing now and he’s too far away to dispel the window himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Riku.” Terra calls, grin going wider as Ansem’s expression grows thunderous and… worried?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Riku can barely be heard over the rumble of his lightcycle, the neon lights of the Grid whirling by him, but heard he is. Terra opens his mouth, only to stop when Ansem goes abruptly still, hands dropping to his sides, fists clenched.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, just checking up on you.” Terra says instead. Riku huffs.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fine. Bit busy though.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> A massive Nightmare flies past the bike and Terra winces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough. Call me if you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I got this.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> It’s nice, seeing Riku so confident again. This test has been good for him, Terra thinks. He closes the window, and turns back to Ansem.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were nervous.” Terra says. Ansem’s glare grows molten.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know nothing. Tell him what you wish, it does not matter to me.” And then he turns away, station vanishing from sight as he does. Terra leans back on his hands, staring contemplatively up into the endless black.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Huh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Losing Rinzler.. Tron, stung in a bad way. Sora can’t get it out of his head, the sight of him reaching for his hand and… missing. Losing him. It’s all his fault. How is he going to face Tron again knowing he once let him die?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That blood is on his hands as effectively as the others, as far as Sora is concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s the soft caress of comfort against his heart, but that’s all. He thinks it’s Ven, but it’s so faint that he’s not sure. Panic seizes him. He’s been so busy, running from place to place, sealing keyholes. When was the last time one of them spoke? What was happening?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ven? Vani?” He asks aloud. “Are- Are you there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a stirring, a feeling, but that’s all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please.” His voice breaks. “Please say something. Roxas! Xion!”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’re here.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>It’s little more than a sleepy mumble, but that’s definitely Xion. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“S’ okay…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora forces himself to breathe. Slaps his cheeks. Everything with Tron and that mystery guy was getting to him. He has to get it together!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” He says. “It’s probably because- these are sleeping realms, right? You’re just.. Sleeping. Right. That’s probably normal. Yeah.” He can deal with the worlds, with whatever the Organization has planned. Surely.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mh.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Roxas hums. Sora takes a deep breath. Again. And again. Trying to make his racing heart slow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Sleep well, guys. I can do this.” He looks towards his next world, a riot of colours and music swelling from it. He shoves his anxiety down. “I can do this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s so terrified that he can’t do this. Things keep going wrong. The organization is here. He’s never been alone like this before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s scared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku shakes Princess Minnie’s hand, walks away, and then stops.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Goodness, I feel like I know you already from Mickey’s stories!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Queen Minnie had told him when she’d met him in Disney Castle. He thinks about the way he’d been.. Well, not adopted. Maybe? The thought makes his insides twist in ways he can’t articulate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it time travel?” He mutters to himself. “Is it.. Some kind of weird loop? Or is it just the sleeping realms, filling in the holes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s way above my pay grade.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Terra says. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Aqua would know.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Komory flits around him, cooing. They don’t know either. Riku huffs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess it doesn’t matter.” He looks up at the glittering night sky. “What matters is… </span>
  <em>
    <span>we </span>
  </em>
  <span>matter, to each other. That’s enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He can feel Terra’s spirits lift with his own. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re right.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He wonders if he should be concerned, that he feels more at home here than he ever did in his own house, on those tiny islands. The only thing that even came close was when he was with his friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sound idea. Sora can’t explain how comforting that single bit of music is to him. The thought of Riku, still on this journey with him, unseen and unheard, comforts him. He’s not alone. Not completely. Not yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The music lifts and swells, and takes Riku’s heart with it. Komory flits excitedly around him, feeding off the outpouring of emotion. He can even feel Terra’s indulgent joy as he watches on. He misses his friends so much it hurts.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’ll see them soon.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Terra comforts. Riku nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon, he thinks. They’ll see each other soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora and Riku sleep peacefully on the hard floor of Yen Sid’s office as Kairi paces above them restlessly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gosh, Kairi, they’ll be okay!” Goofy tries to reassure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Stop worryin’, you’re gonna make </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> anxious at this rate.” Donald grumps. Kairi pokes her tongue out at them but resumes pacing afterwards with hardly a pause. She can’t help it. Maybe all their adventuring has withered her ability to wait, or maybe it’s just the lingering feeling that she </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> be able to do something, but the unused energy beneath her skin crackles as she crosses the room back and forth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yen Sid himself sits silently in his chair, eyes closed and presumably watching the boys as they go through their exam. Kairi has no intention of disturbing him if that’s the case, but the itch under her skin calls for her to do something, but she doesn’t know what can be done. She sighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I should have stayed on the islands with Haru.” She laments but doesn't mean it. She just hates that there isn't anything she can do in either location. She feels Naminé’s distant amusement and tries her best to send the feeling of a stuck out tongue at her too, which of course just makes her laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Made Namine laugh: Mission accomplished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling slightly better at having at least succeeded in something, she turns back to the sleeping boys. They haven’t moved, but the jacket she’d tucked under Riku’s head has somehow slipped out from under him anyway. She tucks it back under his head as gently as she can manage, even knowing it would be almost impossible to wake him up like this. Old habits die hard, and Riku had always been a light sleeper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yen Sid inhales sharply, and Kairi’s head jerks toward the back of his chair, concern flaring in her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have lost sight of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?!” Several voices cry out in alarm, Kairi’s among them. King Mickey leans forward across the wide desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone from outside has interfered. I suspect old nemesis’.” Yen Sid answers, and he seems far too calm for Kairi’s taste.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about Sora and Riku?” She demands, circling around his chair so she can see him. “Are they okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I cannot be certain.” He answers, and this does nothing to allay her fear. “They were hale last I saw, but I am certain those interfering bear ill intent.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to go in.” She whispers, then, louder. “I need to go in. I need to help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yen Sid shakes his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even were they still within my reach, you cannot. You have no keyblade.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I should just- sit here and do nothing?!” Kairi shouts, despite all propriety in her demanding she modulate her tone. Mickey reaches out to touch her elbow, and she leans back from her aggressive stance, though she doesn’t break her angry glare at the old master.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll figure something out, Kairi.” The King assures. “No one is gonna let them get hurt on our watch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better not.” She says. “Or they’ll have to answer to </span>
  <em>
    <span>me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The door slams open, and Kairi whirls to face it with a gasp as a figure steps through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Lea puts his hands on his hips, brimming with confidence. “Good thing we’ve all got the same goal here, huh?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>oops my nonbinary agenda is showing.</p><p>there won't be any pronoun changes for a while, but yknow. i thought this'd be a fun way to indicate that i'm still writing them as nonbinary. i've been looking at xion as being the closest to agender, with tertiary ties to femininity (as well as being High Key Trans), vanitas as 'i literally do not fucking care', and ventus as 'i like using he/him, but """gender""" is a nebulous concept and i don't fully understand it'.</p><p>anyway xigbar is a dick lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Foundered</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Founder; to sink</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>honestly every time i go to edit this chapter i wonder how in the heck there's a full two chapters after this because this is the end of the game right? haha nope. time to buckle in guys~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The World That Never Was looks down on Sora, high and ominous. He frowns. Why is he here?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I awake? No.” He tugs on his jacket, the black x still emblazoned on his shirt. “I’m still dreaming. But why…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sora.” He turns at the call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ven!” The boy smiles, and turns. Sora tries to follow, but everything seems tilted and muggy. Slow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop.” Vanitas appears at his side. “It’s not working.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s.. Not working?” He’s so tired. He’s so confused. Vanitas shakes his head, and then he’s gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw look who’s trying to wake you up.” A voice laughs. “Can’t have that, can we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora looks up through tired and hooded eyes and sees a man with scars and an eyepatch smirking down at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why… are you…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nighty Night, Sora.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything goes dark.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know you’ve really put us through our paces.” Xigbar circles him. Sora calls his keyblade, but the man keeps teleporting from place to place. He can’t hit him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Where are his Dream Eaters?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sora!” Xion stands in front of the strange man, stance defensive. He doesn’t know how he knows it’s her- this is the first time he’s seen her face. Black hair like Vanitas, deep blue eyes that shine almost purple. She looks scared even as she glares up at Xigbar, standing between him and Sora.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Xigbar chuckles, walking through her like she’s not even there. Maybe she’s not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One more layer, eh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last thing Sora sees as his eyes close once more is Roxas forming next to Xion, no armour in sight and looking entirely human, roaring in anger as he leaps at the smirking man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is happening?” Sora cries out to the empty air. This isn’t right. Nothing is right. Meow Wow rubs against his leg, attempting to comfort but clearly worried themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come now, Kiddo, you haven’t figured it out?” It’s Xigbar again, sitting on some tall precipice that might once have been a building. “You’ve been duped.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W-what?” Sora stumbles back. The world feels woozy and out of place. He can’t see to keep his balance. Meow Wow leans against the back of his legs, trying to steady him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been traipsing along, closing keyholes, all the while falling deeper into sleep… and right into our trap.” Xigbar puts his chin into one hand, still smirking. “And you didn’t even notice. Took some work to keep your little friends from noticing, make sure they couldn’t interfere, but hey that’s just part of the job, right? We should really thank the old man for leashing them for us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you going to do?” He has to focus so hard on each word just to get it out. He barely hears Xigbar's answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seven lights, thirteen darknesses. You’ve got more than enough lights already, so we figured we could.. Borrow a few.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?” Sora demands, tired of these non-answers. Xigbar shrugs, and hops down from his seat, standing imperiously over Sora.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For the fated battle, where all our lives will be decided. That’s Xehanort's plan, after all.” He sniffs. "Doesn't really matter to me, but hey, can't hurt to play along a little longer after all."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Xehanort's name strikes fear into Sora’s heart. He knows that name. He knows what he’s done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of your little passengers while you’re with us.” Xigbar gestures lazily to Sora’s chest. “But that’s enough monologuing. Good night, Sora.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dreams of Riku’s voice. Of Kairi’s smile. It’s all he has left to hold on to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Where are we now?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Terra asks as Riku’s feet touch the ground. He looks around with narrowed eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The World That Never Was?” Riku says. “That can’t be right. I have a bad feeling about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You mean the one you’ve had ever since this exam started?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Terra snarks drily. Riku snorts but doesn’t refute it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but something is really wrong now. The exam should be over, but here we are. Is this world even asleep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra gives him the emotional equivalent of a shrug. His memory of this world is scattered, at best, being before he had regained parts of himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Komory flits by his side, and Riku frowns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This <em>world</em> is real, but we’re still asleep. Which means…” He looks up at the looming gray of the castle. “So is Sora.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bad feeling grows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He makes his way towards the tall spires, thankfully a short walk, but he’s stopped as the path crumbles into a cliff, and the walkway of light that used to let them traverse the castle appears to no longer exist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Komory settles on his shoulder, cooing. He pets them idly, chewing on his lip, considering his options.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mowe!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku looks up and there, barely visible in the distance, is a Meow Wow waving enthusiastically from the base of the castle. Somehow, and he’s not sure how, he knows it’s Sora’s. He smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.” He grins as Komory flutters back at the Meow Wow, chirping happily. “We’ve got friends here. Ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Komory does a happy twirl, and a moment later the bridge between the two dream eaters comes into existence with a burst of light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s do this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>Something about the castle is ominous. Eerie. Entirely empty aside from the occasional spirits to block his way.</p><p>Or at least, that is until he reaches the peak.</p><p>Seeing Sora's floating body in that bubble nearly makes his heart stop.</p><p>"Sora!" He cries reaching for the other boy, begging, pleading for him to wake. "Sora wake up!"</p><p>He senses the presence behind him clear as day and he summons his keyblade before he's even finished turning around.</p><p>The red eyes and black hood do not react, and yet somehow emit an aura of malice all the same.</p><p>"Did you do this?" Riku asks. "Are you the one trapping Sora here?"</p><p>It does not answer save to fall into a clear battle stance.</p><p>"Fine then." Riku snorts. "I can take you too."</p><p>-</p><p>
  <span>Ascending the castle was the easy part. Riku facing his own Nightmare on the other hand…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I cannot abide this.” Ansem scowls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You will.” Xemnas intones without inflection, or indeed, even opening his eyes. Terra frowns over at him on his too-small and too-blank heart station. Terra’s own station is still fractured and dissonant, but at least it has some colour on it. He wants to help, but they’re all a bit distracted right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like it, but he’s right.” Terra says, returning his gaze to the windows outside, where Riku clashes once more with the red-eyed nightmare. He winces as a particularly hard hit has the boy stumbling back, but he recovers admirably, returning to form and striking back with as much viciousness as he’s given. “He’s got this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You would have us sit here and do nothing!” Ansem hisses, clearly not on board with the idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not nothing.” Xemnas’ eyes open lazily to regard them both with a cool disinterest as though contemplating hunting them both for sport. “Faith. Isn’t that what you denizens of light laud so highly?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Within reason.” Terra cedes. “It’s fine. He’s got this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ansem tsks and paces his station again, eyes tracking the window outside each time he passes them. Riku dodges the claws of a dark cage by a hair's breadth and Ansem’s hands twitch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you keep saying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would have thought you would have been happy to see him fall.” Terra comments idly, though he doesn’t actually believe it. He has his suspicions of Ansem’s motivations. Ansem barks a laugh, and even Xemnas lets out an idle chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And be so disgraced? If this is the boy who bested my control, he ought to at least be worthy of the title!” He waves a hand dismissively, but Terra’s eyes narrow. Riku grunts as the Nightmare manages to strike home, instantly dragging Ansem’s attention back to the window. Riku dodges backwards, movement jerky, giving himself a half second to let cure ring out around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra’s suspicions coalesce into a realisation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You care, don’t you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both men’s gazes snap towards him. Ansem recovers first with a scoff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do not make assumptions of my motivations boy. Do not forget that if he perishes so too do we all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra leans back, resting his palms against the cool glass of his own station.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure. Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku cries out, and Ansem, attention having been divested from the fight, panics.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku knew this was going to be a tough battle, but it was one he was confident of winning; not just for himself, but for Sora too, sleeping behind him. The Nightmare hit hard, but he was fully capable of hitting just as hard back. He has Komory by his side, Terra’s quiet confidence in his heart, and the devotion of a Protector to fuel him. This is a dance he knows well, and one he will see through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dodges the first swing but not the second, taking a glancing glow to one side. Nothing serious, but he doesn’t want to take too many of those at once. He lashes out, catching the Nightmare mid-swing and knocking it off balance. He manages a few more solid hits before the Nightmare recovers and vanishes out of reach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku pauses only for a second to get his bearings, knowing things have a habit of springing from the ground while fighting this thing. He lunges to one side as black claws do exactly that, and barely recovers in time to catch the next flurry of blows the Nightmare hurls at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His blade shudders as he blocks, but he has no fear of it breaking. It’s only as strong as his heart, and his heart has never been stronger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am-” He grunts as each blow rains heavier than the last. “What Nightmares fear-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blows end, and he counters with a shout, giving no quarter as the Nightmare stumbles and he pushes his advantage. He gets three solid strikes in before the Nightmare leaps back into the darkness and recovers its stance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I will not let you stop me!” He shouts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rushes forward, hoping he can catch it again and keep his advantage, but this time the grasping claws from below catch him off-guard, trapping him in place, leaving him fully open to the Nightmare’s next attack. It hits him hard, despite his desperate attempt to block, and sends him flying back with a cry. He’s winded and he’s sure something is broken, but he’s already prepping a potion even as he drags himself to his feet, blade raised in a block fully expecting the Nightmare to come after him while he’s down. He’s hurting but he’s not truly worried yet- as long as he can block the next attack and down a potion he can still do this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A moment later he realises that no attack has come.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A moment after that he realizes there is a whole new entity on the battlefield.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not as.. Solid, as Sora’s heartmates, arms and head floating disconnected from its body, a long black tail reminiscent of Terra’s Guardian form, and glowing yellow eyes glare balefully down at the Nightmare as it swipes at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So stunned is Riku that he doesn't see the next attack coming, slipping under the apparitions bulk and sending him skidding across the ground, winded and bleeding.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fool.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> He hears a voice growl from within his heart, one he could not mistake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Xemnas?” Riku gasps, knowing that voice. He struggles to his feet, fumbling a potion between his fingers while the apparition slips between him and the Nightmare once more. Riku sighs as his wounds knit themselves back together. He’s going to be sore as hell tomorrow, but as long as he makes it to tomorrow he’s fine with that.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Focus, Riku.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Terra cautions. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Ansem won’t be able to stay long… Not that he should be out there in the first place.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ansem??” Riku’s gaze snaps to the angry vision bearing down against the Nightmare, which is still trying to get around the spirit to get to him. Ansem is already beginning to fuzz at the edges, a lack of practice and knowledge draining his ability to stay collected. The Nightmare slips past his blurring edges, and takes advantage of Riku’s distraction, catching him in a solid blow that sends him flying again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spits blood as he gets to his feet, but he will not cower.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Focus!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Xemnas says again. Riku raises his blade, more than ready. Ansem growls, refusing to allow his body fade, but a moment later a second form flickers into existence. It looks like the Sorcerer nobodies, if someone has decided to outfit said nobodies in ornate armour. It looks to Riku, tilts its head once, and then grabs Ansem and vanishes with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The message was clear. This fight was his, and he would win it on his own terms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got this.” Riku says quietly. Nightmare stalks toward him, the dark bubbling around it. He feels Xemnas and Ansem’s presences retreat, and takes a deep breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s dance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora falls deeper in the darkness, all awareness having left him. He’s so tired.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So are the all of his heartmates... but Vanitas always was the lightest sleeper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku is exhausted, but he pushes past it. He won’t let them win. He can’t let them take Sora.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Young Xehanort smirks at him. The young master knows how hard defeating the Nightmare was, and he is no slouch himself. Riku grits his teeth and hefts his blade once more. Time powers or no, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>will not lose.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Xehanort jumps at him, swinging hard, driving Riku back several paces and locking their blades together. He jumps back, forming his whip and wrapping it around Riku, freezing him in place. The following hits steal Riku’s breath, but he dodges out a moment later and pulls out his last potion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shall we see what you have to offer?” Young Xehanort taunts, blade held low. Riku doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but it doesn’t really matter. He leaps forward with a double handed swing, but Xehanort vanishes before the hit can connect. A moment too late he realizes that the boy has reappeared behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid you have something we need. Allow us to relieve you of it.” The young master whispers in his ear, and then the whip is back, coiled around Riku’s chest and arms. He cries out in pain as it tightens around him, and collapses to one knee as it retreats.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shoves himself back upright, struggling to get his feet under him and raise his blade to block whatever’s coming. Nothing comes, however, and Xehanort merely stands there with that infuriating smirk across his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you do?” Riku demands. He doesn’t know what, but he knows the cunning boy has to have done </span>
  <em>
    <span>something.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Xehanort shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll figure it out soon enough. Or maybe you won’t. Our battle is not yet finished after all.” And then Xehanort does raise his blade, his stance a mockery of Riku’s own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” Riku grunts, readying himself. First things first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to put this boy in his place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So. We have a problem.” Lea takes three long strides into the room, standing before Yen Sid’s desk. Kairi gapes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ax- Lea!” She corrects herself mid-word. He spares her a glance and a slight nod, but that’s all, attention focused on Yen Sid, who stares back imperiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speak.” The old master finally allows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll make this quick.” Lea says. “I got some intel, and made a pit stop at Your Majesties castle a few minutes ago…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku struggles against the hooded figure holding him down, but even his desperation can do nothing as the white chair holding Sora’s uncomfortably still body starts to rise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sora!” He calls, fear and yearning mingling in his voice. “Sora!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are too late.” Xehanort intones. “You have made an excellent run at foiling me at every turn, but you should know that I plan for</span>
  <em>
    <span> every </span>
  </em>
  <span>eventuality. Here, I lay the seed for the last of my thirteen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raises his keyblade, a monstrous thing in sharp grays, light gathering at the edge of it, and Riku’s struggling gets all the more desperate. He cannot see who is holding him down, but at this angle it wouldn’t take much strength to hold him prone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” He shouts again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Please!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels as much as he sees the minute gasp Sora gives as the light hits him, setting his body aglow. Riku feels every muscle in his body go lax as hope leaves him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Xehanort chuckles, and the body holding Riku down lets him up, as if knowing he is no threat now. There’s no point. They’ve won.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku stumbles upright, makes his way to the chair now lowering back towards the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sora?” He can’t help it, his voice breaks. “Please, answer me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora looks up at him, every movement slow and listless like he’s half asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes are yellow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku grits his teeth, anger starting to overtake his grief. He whirls around, blade raised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he could not save what was most precious… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would avenge it instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A gasp behind him stops him in his tracks, and he looks back to see waves of darkness pouring off Sora. The other boy grits his teeth, hands clutching his head- the most he’s moved since his placement in this blank white space, and a spark of hope worms its way into Riku’s heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dark pools beneath them, but this is no fearful unknown that Riku feels under his feet. He’s known this darkness too long to not know it well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Vanitas.” He whispers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Xehanort scowls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That boy.” He grumbles. “Still causing me problems long past his usefulness. No matter, a simple matter to... readjust.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora gasps again, bending double. Xehanort raises his blade, and Riku knows what he must do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll buy you time,” He says, bringing himself to the ready. “As much as I can. Make it fast, Vanitas!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The black hooded figures stand, one by one, and Riku knows he’s outmatched by far, but he won’t let that stop him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first leaps at him, and he readies himself to block, but a flurry of flames halts the other figure in its tracks. Riku blinks, and a moment later he registers who’s there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry we’re late.” Lea strides in, all confidence, weapon- is that a keyblade?- at his side. “Got hung up on definitions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Riku breathes. “But am I glad to see you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, no love for us?” Kairi steps up, blade of ice and light in one hand, taking up a defensive position at Riku’s side. His heart soars. Maybe they really can do this. Mickey flips in next, followed by Donald and Goofy, the latter of which gives them a thumbs up as they take up a more offensive position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always.” He nods. “Let’s do this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There's no more time for talk, the figure leaps forward again, launching himself directly for Lea, who blocks with a keyblade he’s clearly not used to. He’s pushed back several steps, and the figures hood flutters down. Blue hair and gold eyes stare impassively.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isa?” Lea’s voice wavers. “No-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saïx doesn’t let him continue, drawing his blade back to strike again, and then the battle begins in earnest, each of the black cloaks leaping in the battle in turn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku doesn’t, can’t, dodge now, parrying each blow and returning it in force. He sees faces he recognizes, but he has no time to process right now. Gray hair, yellow eyes, red bandages. Sora cries out again. That’s the only part that matters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He will not fail. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They</span>
  </em>
  <span> will not fail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas always was the lightest sleeper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora falls deeper into the dark. It’s not good for him- he’s not like Vanitas, where the dark is an old, comforting bedfellow. It tugs at Vanitas, calling him to rest, but he can’t right now. He wraps himself around the boy. The dark still calls to him, a siren song from the depths. The others are all already deep in slumber. It’s tempting. It’s so tempting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels an old, familiar presence, one he’s never forgotten despite the many years it’s been since he felt it last. One that strikes fear alongside its familiarity. He feels every blow, every neglect, every </span>
  <em>
    <span>lie,</span>
  </em>
  <span> all over again in an instant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then that instant passes, and he turns, rage filling every forgotten corner of his being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Vanitas.” The old man chuckles. “Unexpected, but irrelevant. Move aside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas says nothing. He has nothing to say. His keyblade, the reds and blacks of gears and chains and no name at all, appears in his hand, and he raises it without a word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You would attack your old master?” Xehanort sniffs. “You should know I did everything I could for you. It is your own fault that you failed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas grits his teeth, but doesn’t break his silence. He knows </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> what Xehanort did. He knows better now. He’s seen how real masters work. He’s spent a decade under the care of Sora and his family. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows better.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing?” Xehanort tilts his head. “Fine. I have no business with you, regardless.” He attempts to brush past Vanitas, but is blocked by the younger man's raised arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” It’s the only thing Vanitas has to say to this man, though he hates to say anything at all. He gives no more warning, rushing forward with his blade already swinging.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Xehanort dodges to one side, keyblade of his own appearing in hand. The old man isn’t as spry as he surely once was, but he's no pushover. Vanitas calls on the dark, weighing heavily around them, calls on Sora’s own. He pulls on every advantage he might have here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He will </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> let him pass. He will evict him with prejudice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Xehanort is well acquainted with the dark too, batting it aside with a mere gesture, launching a series of projectiles at him with a backhand. Vanitas skids out of the way, sinking into the dark, and reappearing behind Xehanort, catching him in the back with a solid upward strike.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It stuns him only a moment though as he whirls around, blade making a wide arc that catches Vanitas in the side and sending him tumbling across the ground. He doesn’t wait for Xehanort's next move, sinking back into the darkness to avoid the next blow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Running away?” Xehanort taunts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas launches himself at him from below with an angry roar, but of course Xehanort had been expecting exactly that. Xehanort’s keyblade smashes against his helmet with an echoing ring, sending Vanitas tumbling once more. He grunts as he pushes himself up, shaking the broken remnants of his faceguard away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a little light at the edge of his vision. He knows who it is without looking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even trust me to do this, huh?” He scoffs, sour. The light says nothing- it can’t- but he feels the answer in his heart just as effectively.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>trust!/warmth/protect</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Ventus’ heart sings from its slumber.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We’ll do it together.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Trust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas huffs. This is a bad time for this talk, but maybe they both should have done it earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can do this, Ven. You protect Sora.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The light flits away, their goals aligned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanitas raises his keyblade again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always were the stubborn one.” Xehanort laments. “I could give you form again. Purpose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want nothing you have to give.” Vanitas retorts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And they clash again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The light travels ever downward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t understand the hows or the whys. It barely understands who it is, in this state, as they travel ever further into sleep. Ventus’ heart knows only one thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This boy deserves to be protected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It reaches the boy, and he doesn’t react at all. That feels wrong, that a boy so full of life and love would hang so still and lifeless in this place.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>light/protect/help</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It sinks down with him, and the armour of one forms around the other, as strong and as unbending as the light itself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hangs there in the dark for a long while. It doesn’t really have a sense of time, in this realm of sleep, but.. It feels wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t know how long it waits, but the dark is ever present, and eventually even the light starts to struggle against its all encompassing presence.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>please/staystrong/help!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It calls for anyone to help, but underneath it most of all calls for its other half, the part of itself it had lost and would never be returned. The dark around them is ever present… but a section of it divests itself from the rest, wrapping itself around the armour like an old friend. Maybe it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m here.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>And so the three keep falling further into the dark, to sleep. They can’t stop that. But the darkness of Vanitas’ heart makes the dark recognize them as one of its own, and the light of Ven’s armour keeps Sora safe. It might have reminded them once of a time Sora had been lost, where they had wrapped around each other to keep safe then too, but the pull of sleep is too strong for such memories. They drift.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sleep calls Ven to rest. The Dark calls to Vanitas to sleep. And bit by bit…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They fall.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>next chapter is my favourite, which is funny because i think it does the most copy-pasting of game dialogue in the whole series (and i usually hate doing that). in my defence, that whole question and answer segment at the end of ddd is absolutely Perfect (though obviously some things are changed just a little to fit this series)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Flag Hoist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Flag Hoist: Message Sent (Received)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>skipping over the rest of the white room confrontation because, quite frankly, nothing interesting happens in it. they fought, xehanort was cryptic, they vanished.</p><p>now lets get to the *good* stuff.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sora hasn’t woken up.</p><p>Riku rests on his knees over the slouched, unmoving form of his best friend. Kairi sits next to him, worrying the hem of her skirt between her fingers. Donald and Goofy exchange worried glances with each other. Lea sits backwards in a chair looking like he’s a million miles away.</p><p>“He’s just.. Asleep?” Kairi asks. They all have the same question on their minds.</p><p>Why is Sora still asleep?</p><p>Was Xehanort still there?</p><p>The dark that had surrounded Sora having Vanitas’ very distinct feel about it had given him hope, and Xehanort's stunned reaction had further lifted his spirits, but when time had run out and all Xehanort’s puppets began to disappear he had only given them a self satisfied smirk. It was Xehanort’s unwavering confidence that made Riku nervous.</p><p>“I think so.” Riku says. “I hope so. Whatever Xehanort did shoved Sora deep within himself. I thought Vanitas managed to take him out, when Xehanort and his cronies all disappeared, but…”</p><p>They couldn’t know for sure.</p><p>“Well… I think ya might have to go check!” Mickey says, hopping down to stand next to Riku. Riku’s brows furrow.</p><p>“Check?”</p><p>“Well,” Mickey rubs his ears. “You dropped into Sora’s dreams before, when ya felt something was wrong, right? Couldn’t ya do that again, and see what’s goin’ on?”</p><p>Mickey doesn’t know the half of it. Riku doesn’t know exactly what it means that he’s a Dream Eater, that he’s <em> Sora’s </em> Dream Eater, and for some jealous reason he doesn’t feel like enlightening the mouse king, but the theory is as sound as it gets right now. Kairi breaks out into a smile.</p><p>“Could you, Riku?” She asks, excited to have any way forward. He chews on his tongue, considering it before his own smile grows fond.</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah I think we should try. After all,” He turns to Kairi, “We can’t keep letting him get away with leaving us all the work.”</p><p>“Lazy bum.” She agrees, all fondness in her voice. </p><p>“The dark is vast.” Yen Sid interrupts from his seat. He does not turn to face them, eyes closed. “It will be more perilous than any drop you have made thus far. The dark in him may recognize you as a friend… Or it may repel you as an intruder on instinct. And this is to say nothing of the possibility that remnants of Xehanort may yet remain.”</p><p>“Only more reason to go.” Riku says, gaze firmly on Sora.</p><p>Kairi is contemplative as she looks down at Sora’s sleeping body. It looks so strange, seeing him propped against the wall like that. The Sora she knew was always so full of life- even in his sleep, snoring loudly, tossing and turning.</p><p>“I can’t drop.” She says. She has no keyblade. “But… Maybe I can still help.”</p><p>Riku turns his gaze to her, curious where her thought is going. She brings one hand to her chest, feeling the beat of her heart beneath. She feels Naminé below, quiet and unassuming, but she feels the steadfast belief the other girl has in her.</p><p>“My light.” She says. “I know you know how to deal with the dark, but a little extra help can’t hurt, right?”</p><p>Riku nods.</p><p>“If it’ll be a tough drop... We’ll need every edge we can get to bring Sora back. If you’re willing.”</p><p>“Of course.” She nods with determination.</p><p>He lies down once more against the bare floor. Kairi sighs, shoving a spare jacket under his head. He looks up at her, and she pouts at him.</p><p>“You don’t want a crick in your neck when you wake up, right?”</p><p>He smiles.</p><p>“Thanks, Kairi.”</p><p>He closes his eyes. Kairi takes a deep breath and centers herself, pulling the light, the one tied so thoroughly to her being, and shapes it into something new. She takes that floating piece and encourages it downward.</p><p>Protect, she whispers to it. <em> Protect. </em></p><p>It’s still tethered to her, but only by a thread, and a moment later it sinks into Riku’s chest, lighting up his whole body. A small eternity passes as they both test out this new bond, and then portal zaps into existence above the two boys. Riku lets out a breathy sigh and goes still, a sure sign he’s begun the dive.</p><p>She holds still, holding on to that tether as best she can without holding Riku back. It’s a tightrope, but one she feels confident in walking despite having never done this before. She can do this. </p><p>They can do this.</p><p>-</p><p>The dark is oppressive as Riku drops. Yen Sid hadn’t been exaggerating. It tugs at his consciousness with promises of safety and sleep even as he can feel the threats that lurk within. The more adventurous wisps vanish as they approach him, dispersed by Kairi’s light. It wavers as he goes deeper, but he can feel her holding on. He holds on too, to her, to his connection to Sora. He won’t let them be dragged apart again.</p><p>He goes deeper.</p><p>Bits of memories float by, things he recognizes. A meteor shower at night. Lines of blood across a child's arm. Reaching out and being spurned as the darkness consumes. A storm and a boat and worry. Sprawled across a ratty couch.</p><p>Visions of Sora.</p><p>He goes deeper.</p><p>Kairi’s light wavers again- they’re deeper in the dark than he’d thought they could go, and it presses against him heavily. He holds on tighter, and he can just feel Kairi do the same on the other end. The dark shies away from its burning light, but that won’t last long he knows. The dark is a hungry thing. Where is Sora?</p><p>His feet touch ground.</p><p>He looks around, but all he can see is inky black. He frowns. Something feels Off, and yet familiar somehow.</p><p>Something raises from the ground ahead of him, at first indistinct but a moment later it’s shape gains form, and he takes a step back in surprise.</p><p>“Ven?” It looks like Ven’s armour, but not like he’s ever seen it before. Stained black like the shadows around them, and feet full and steady upon the ground unlike the floating specter he’d known since childhood.</p><p>A keyblade forms in its hand, and Riku knows this is no heartfelt reunion. It falls into a battle stance.</p><p>“I won’t lose.” He tells the specter, fist clenching. “I need to find Sora, protect him. This is too important!”</p><p>He barely has time to register that it’s Sora’s keyblade it holds, though it’s held in Ven’s signature backhand grip. It rushes him without hesitation, and Riku dodges with a gasp. The dark roils around them like a rioting crowd of watchers, all too ready to flood the stage with chaos and wrath. He blocks the next strike, but the strength behind it drives the breath from him.</p><p>He’s tired. He’s fought too many battles in a row. But he can’t stop. He won’t stop.</p><p>The armour flash steps toward him, and this time he’s ready, blocking and countering with a solid swing to its side. Kairi’s borrowed light swells within him, as if she can tell he’s fighting now. The armour sinks into the dark below, transforming the stage, and Riku releases the built up light in one great wave, driving the armour out of its hiding place, and sending it skidding across the ground.</p><p>It shoves itself to its feet, and Riku presses his advantage, driving the armour back and scoring several solid hits as he goes. He doesn’t like that he has to do this, but his choices are slim at this point.</p><p>The armour flash steps again, a hand grasping at his chest and Riku isn’t fast enough to block.</p><p>It stops just shy of flesh though, hand wrapping around something invisible to Riku.</p><p>A moment later, he feels Kairi’s tether snap as the armoured fingers grab that invisible thing. He senses her fear in the last moment before the connection goes silent, a mirror of his own as it vanishes. The armour pulls back, a ball of light in its palm.</p><p>The armour holds the little ball of light it had stolen from Riku almost reverently. It holds completely still as its hand is raised, entranced by the flickering light as it sputters without its source.</p><p>Riku doesn’t waste the opportunity. He rushes forward- it’s too close to bring his keyblade to bear so he doesn’t bother, tackling the armour full body in the chest, knocking them both over. They tumble several times, trading blows until finally they roll to a stop.</p><p>Riku stops as the armour goes limp. The little light finally dies between them, but Riku can still see as the dark cracks along the armour grow, and then finally melt away along with the darkness itself.</p><p>“Sora?” He croaks. The boy's eyes are closed, and in Riku’s surprise he doesn’t notice at first that Sora is sinking once more into the dark.</p><p>“No!” He gasps, trying in vain to grasp anything to pull him back up. He snags at Sora’s collar, but the weak grip he has on the fabric isn’t enough as he slips away, and then disappears completely.</p><p>He sits back, limp. He had failed. Kairi’s light was gone, and he doesn’t think his own is enough to light the way.</p><p><em> “Get up.” </em> He hears. <em> “Keep going.” </em></p><p>“Terra?” He asks. It’s the first time he’s heard his heartmate- any of them really, since their unexpected entrance during the fight with the Nightmare. Terra isn’t really with him here, he barely sounds awake, so he’s surprised to hear his voice at all.</p><p>
  <em> “Go Deeper.” </em>
</p><p>“How?” Riku asks, but as he speaks the ground below him lights up, and suddenly he knows where he is. The bare edges of Terra’s consciousness recede, falling back into the deep slumber he’d fallen into.</p><p>Sora’s sleeping features look up at him from the ethereal light of the heart station. His own face. Kairi’s. Ven. Vanitas.</p><p>“Deeper, huh?” He says. “First though…”</p><p>He steps back, and raises his keyblade.</p><p>“Please wake up.”</p><p>The distinct sound of something unlocking echoes around him. He lets out a sigh of relief. One thing down. He looks across the edge of the platform.</p><p>“Only one way to go, I guess.” He says.</p><p>And steps off the edge.</p><p>-</p><p>It’s the Islands.</p><p>His shoes step onto the uneven boards of the dock, and it still feels familiar even after all this time. The sun is setting, the sky awash in a beautiful array of orange and pink.</p><p>“What is it you’re afraid of?”</p><p>The voice startles him, and he whirls around to see a face he really should have expected.</p><p>“Roxas?” He asks. Roxas tilts his head, like he doesn’t quite hear him.</p><p>“What is it you’re so afraid of?” The blond repeats his question.</p><p>Riku remembers something Sora had told him, about a series of questions he had once been asked what seems like forever ago.</p><p>“A test?” He murmurs. “Fine.” He looks away, considering his answer.</p><p>Roxas waits, more patient than what little Riku had known of him in life… Or maybe he was biased.</p><p>“Losing something.. That’s important.” He says. He’s not ready to say what he really means, that <em> things </em> were never what was important, but people, but he hopes the intent comes across.</p><p>Roxas nods, and turns away.</p><p>“Roxas wait.” He calls, and is relieved when the boy pauses.</p><p>“I don’t know if you’ll remember this, but I still want to say it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did to you. I’m sorry I would do it all again if I had to.” He lets out a breath. It wasn’t good enough. It would never be good enough. “I’ll say it again, when I can do it properly. I’ll do everything I can to help Sora get your life back.”</p><p>It’s the first time he’s ever seen Roxas smile, though it's almost more a smirk, and then the boy vanishes.</p><p>Riku looks around, at a loss, and then spots another figure on the beach.</p><p>He jogs down the steps, making his way through familiar soft sand still warm beneath his feet despite the apparently late hour. Riku finds himself confused by the boy who looks like Roxas, though something about him seems more refined. Older. Taller too, though not by much. He turns to face Riku as he approaches, a smile on his face.</p><p>“Roxas- wait, no…” He tilts his head, old descriptions and childlike drawings pulling the pieces together neatly in his head. “Ven, right?”</p><p>“What do you care about more than anything else?”</p><p>More tests. Riku puts one hand on his hip as he considers his answer. This answer isn’t so hard.</p><p>“The people most important to me.” He’d fallen off the path before. Never again. They deserved more from him. Ven smiles wider and nods.</p><p>“I promise I’ll find a way to help Terra.” Riku says before Ven can disappear. “And we’ll find Aqua too.”</p><p>Ven’s smile grows sad and wistful at that, but he says nothing as he fades from view.</p><p>Riku looks around, seeing the pattern for what it is. Two more, right?</p><p>He spots a familiar head of spiky hair on the paopu tree and sucks in a breath.</p><p>“Sora?” He gasps as he runs up, but the more he looks, the more that… feels wrong.</p><p>Sora’s image flickers, but he can’t seem to get a clear image of them. He shakes his head, trying to dispel the fuzziness, but it stubbornly stays.</p><p>He remembers what Sora said, about a girl who’d had to be erased from existence itself.</p><p>“Xion?”</p><p>He senses the smile the image gives more than he sees it. It flickers between Sora, Roxas, and something else entirely faster than he can really track it.</p><p>“Riku.” Her voice is soft, but at least that is clear. He wonders how well he once knew her. “What do you wish?”</p><p>Riku leans against the tree, staring out across the sunset. That feels important somehow, though he’s not sure why.</p><p>“I wish,” There are no meteors to wish upon, but maybe a falling sun will do just as well. “To recover something important.”</p><p>It didn’t get more important than his best friend's heart, really. He’d failed for Kairi, when he’d fallen to darkness. He’d failed for Sora, letting Xehanort get this close to him. He won’t fail again.</p><p>Xion has nothing to say, no way to react. He turns to her, though he still can’t see her in full.</p><p>“I don’t remember you, but I should. No one deserves to be forgotten. We’ll change that, I promise.”</p><p>Her eyes meet his, and he sees the sadness, the guilt that lies so bone deep they reach through in this place deep in sleep, and then she’s gone too.</p><p>Riku takes a moment to just look over the sunset. It’s the first real moment of rest he’s had in.. he’s not sure how long. So much had happened in such a short period of time, and his mind and body are both exhausted.</p><p>“Come on.” He reprimands himself. “Sora’s waiting.” He pushes himself off the tree with a grunt.</p><p>“He is, more’s the pity.” A new voice comes, and Riku’s head swings around, surprise evident in his reaction.</p><p>“DiZ?” He hisses. “How-”</p><p>“I hid my research here, in hopes it would be kept safe even as it spurned him on to assist me in my revenge. Between this and Roxas, I had high hopes.” DiZ sniffs. “Being a scientist often means being wrong, starting from scratch, but never has it been quite so... infuriating.”</p><p>“So.. what, you’re just data?” Riku asks, putting the pieces together with speed. DiZ nods.</p><p>“I am. An accumulation of bits and bytes to represent the research stored here. A waste.”</p><p>“Bitter you didn’t get your way, huh.” Riku scoffs. “Just like you were bitter in the castle, and tried to kill us.”</p><p>“Xehanort destroyed all our lives, and you would have let him simply walk away from it all without consequence.”</p><p>“We’re not going to let him get away with it. Yeah, they should pay for their actions, but you were asking for their deaths.. And I don’t believe anyone deserves that. We all deserve the chance to do better.”</p><p>“And if they do not?” DiZ presses. “If they refuse?”</p><p>“Then we deal with that then. Not before” Riku asserts. DiZ shakes his head.</p><p>“You say you will not let them, and yet you allowed both versions of him into your heart, sidestepping any real consequences they might have had to face.”</p><p>“And being trapped in another's heart like a prison isn’t its own kind of punishment?” Riku returns fire. There was a reason they all wanted so badly to find a way for all of Sora’s heartmates to live their own lives. “Besides.. Ansem and Xemnas aren’t Xehanort. They’ve made their own mistakes, done awful things they’ll have to answer for, but you can’t blame them for the actions of another.”</p><p>“They were created from Xehanort's heart.” DiZ hisses. Riku’s eyes narrow.</p><p>“And Terra’s. I was created from two people too. I’m not responsible for the things my parents do.”</p><p>And hadn’t that been a hard won lesson all on it’s own, one he had hidden from both Kairi and Sora both, at first out of shame, and later because he just.. Didn’t know how to explain it. Sora’s parents loved him unconditionally, and Kairi’s may have been more hands off but she’d certainly never wondered if they loved her. Not like Riku had.</p><p>It was not his fault his parents didn’t care about him. It never had been.</p><p>He had a new family now, and that family meant more to him than blood ever would.</p><p>“And what do you know of the workings of a heart?” DiZ’s eyes narrow. Riku frowns.</p><p>“More than you, I bet.” Riku pauses. “Get out of Sora’s.”</p><p>“Ha.” DiZ barks a short laugh. “No.” And then he vanishes. Riku’s fists clench, but he has no way of finding the errant data. He hopes Ienzo and the chipmunks can find a solution, maybe with the data versions of himself and Sora.</p><p>But more important things are at hand.</p><p>Where’s the last question?</p><p>Where’s Vanitas?</p><p>He walks back down to the beach, the sand exuding a soft heat even now despite the setting sun. He looks up at the sky once more.</p><p>It’s beautiful, he thinks.</p><p>“Still here?” Riku turns, and there’s Vanitas, or he assumes so anyway, dressed in blacks and reds as he is. He’s laying down, eyes closed, arms crossed behind his head.</p><p>“Vanitas.” He greets. Vanitas seems more awake than the others do, who had barely reacted to him at all. “I need to wake Sora up.”</p><p>“Idiot.” Vanitas huffs. “He’s already awake.”</p><p>“What?” Riku asks, taken aback.</p><p>“You heard me.” Vanitas says drily. Riku shakes his head.</p><p>“I guess that’s just not what I was expecting.”</p><p>“What, more questions?” Vanitas opens one scarlet red eye lazily to stare up at him. “I already asked you my question. Congrats, you passed.”</p><p>Riku has a dawning realization.</p><p>“The fight.”</p><p>“‘Where does your strength come from?’” Vanitas says, and it all makes sense. “Now fuck off. The hotel doesn’t need more residents, and Sora’s waiting.”</p><p>Riku feels like he could collapse from sheer relief, but there’s no time for that just yet.</p><p>“Thank you.” He nods to the man who appears for all intents and purposes to be asleep in the sand. Riku turns back towards the sunset, an instinct driving him forwards.</p><p>Keyblade flares to life in Riku’s hand as the keyhole above outlines itself in light. He raises it, and the warmth that pours out feels like comfort as he vanishes.</p><p>-</p><p>Vanitas is left alone on the beach. His eyes open, though barely, looking down to scan the barely visible horizon.</p><p>“Sunset, huh.” He whispers to himself.</p><p>He lifts one hand to the sky, keyblade appearing for him in a swirl of graceful darkness. No more do chains wrap around it’s length, binding it- binding <em> him. </em> No more eye to watch his every move, the shattered shards of it breaking whatever view it might have had. Its sweeping red and black colours gleam in the dimming light, accentuated by an almost delicate gold filigree, flaring out in a pair of graceful gold wings around the handle.</p><p>“Unchained.” He speaks its name into the silence, already so much more than had ever been given to the keyblade he'd had for so long.</p><p>He feels… At peace. Like a chapter in his life has finally been closed that had been sitting open far too long. He hopes he- he hopes they <em>all-</em> are ready for whatever is coming next.</p><p>He lays back, dismissing his blade and closing his eyes once more. The light wasn’t his home, but it has its perks; the sand at his back still warm from the previously endless day. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i, like everyone else, assumed vanitas' weapon was named Void Gear like the one the player receives for defeating his lingering sentiment. i, like everyone else, had my mind blown wide open upon finding out that that was *only* applicable to the players weapon, and not Vanitas', who's keyblade as far as we know does not have a name at all.</p><p>so yknow. maybe i have a lot of feelings about vanitas' keyblade.</p><p>anyway i adjusted riku's answers to fit the 'all the answers have the word 'important' in them' pattern like they SHOULD, since the english translation decided that wasn't <i>important</i>, i guess :/ (and yes, i very much headcanon that in canon the nightmare armour ventus fight is vanitas' own version of the island questions, and the answers are 'Win' or 'Lose.')</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Drogher</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Drogher: a ship that is barely seaworthy</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>welcome to the epilogue</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The world feels muggy and indistinct at first, as Riku comes back to awareness. For a long moment, he wonders why he’s on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he remembers, and sits upright with a jerking motion and a cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sora!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Riku!” That’s Kairi, sitting next to him, hands held out as if to steady him. In fairness, he might need it. He feels exhausted and off-balance, but he can’t stop until-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Riku?” Sora had his back turned to him, dressed in some silly getup, but the look of abject relief he sports nearly negates it. He drops the silly hat and glasses and leaps from his chair, nearly bowling Riku into Kairi with the force of it. “You’re okay!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sora, what’s- shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He asks, bewildered. Kairi giggles next to him, but he thinks it sounds watery. Had they both been so worried about him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so glad you’re okay.” Sora mumbles into his shirt, still hugging him tightly. It’s not the first time Sora has said this sort of thing to him, and that makes his heart twist. He feels Kairi twine one of her hands with his, and her smile is soft and full of her own relief as she meets his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Ax- Lea?” Riku asks, and both Sora and Kairi's expressions grow somber. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He left, after Sora woke up.” Kairi says. “He seemed upset.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku remembers Saïx lunging at him, weapon bared, and doesn’t really need to ask why. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yen Sid calls them all to attention and Kairi scowls. Could they not have even a few minutes to be happy and relieved everyone was okay? Apparently not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, this was a test and Yen Sid the proctor, and so she bites her tongue as the two boys line up before the old man's desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So annoyed is she, that she almost misses his verdict.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence hangs in the air, and Riku has a stunned look she doesn’t think she’s ever seen him carry. Sora turns to Riku, beaming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did it! You’re a Master!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room erupts into celebration, cheering and clapping, Kairi included. She knows it must sting for Sora though, and she resolves to talk to him later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...No.” Riku’s response is so quiet it’s nearly missed. It’s not until he shakes his head and firms his stance, looking Yen Sid in the eye that the others calm, looking on in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No?” Yen Sid echoes. It’s clear he is not used to being defied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If Sora failed for falling to a Darkness he had no way of knowing about… Then so did I, since one of my heartmates helped me against the Nightmare.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said yourself you were handling the battle, and did not call upon them to assist, rather that they assisted you without prompting. Indeed, they may have even made things worse.” Yen Sid counters. Riku’s eyes narrow into a glare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>said yourself this wasn’t about them, that’s why you tied them away in the first place. It’s not fair to pass me and not Sora.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is more than that.” Yen Sid sighs. “I had hoped to wait and do this in private, but Sora’s fall has cost him much of his previously gained power. He will need to gain it back before I can award him the title.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In that case,” Riku draws himself to his full height, staring unflinchingly back into Yen Sid’s imperious stare, “I’ll wait. Thank you Master.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On impulse he takes Sora’s hand and tugs him away, catching Kairi’s eye on his way and jerking his head towards the door. She nods and jogs to catch up to them, and the three leave the office without fanfare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku doesn’t let go of Sora’s hand as they travel down the winding steps of the Mysterious Tower, though Sora doesn’t grip back, hand hanging limply in his. He’s strangely quiet, head bowed and deep in thought. It worries Riku and Kairi both.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stop outside, taking cover next to the tall bushes that line the tiny bit of land. Sora takes his hand back as they sit, and Riku lets him (he doesn’t know if he should have).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did you…?” Sora huffs. “You would have been a Master!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t fair.” Riku answers readily. Sora squints in that adorable way he does when he’s incensed but isn’t sure how to say it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But.. You earned it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course he did.” Kairi agrees. “But I see where he’s coming from. Yen Sid is playing favourites. What happened to you wasn’t your fault- if anything there should have been a retest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe there will be.” Riku allows. “Later, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora looks away, and Riku winces. Right. He shares a glance with Kairi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll be back to full power before you know it.” Kairi encourages. Riku nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora pulls a goofy grin as he looks back at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw c’mon guys, I’ll be fine! You should’ve taken it, Riku.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Riku shakes his head. “I broke the rules. It’s only fair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on.” Kairi stands, dusting off her skirt and then offering them both a hand up. “Let’s go home. There’s still a lot to do and I don’t think there’ll be much time for rest after this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku sighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right. Xehanort has to be stopped, and we still need to find Aqua, and get bodies for… Everyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Sora brings one hand to his chest. Riku notices.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quiet?” He asks. Sora nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I think they’re still sleeping after everything. I’ll probably have to go wake them up later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Though he’s probably a lot more nervous about it than Sora is. Kairi tilts her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you know that they would help you like that, Xemnas and Ansem?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” He shakes his head. “I never would have guessed they would come to my defence. Ansem especially. But down there against the nightmare… it almost seemed like they were worried about me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh.” Sora hums. “Maybe there’s more to them then we thought.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think..” Riku says, “I need to talk to them later. Properly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kairi nods, sensing his anxiety over such a prospect and taking one of his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re here for you when you do.” She says. “Whatever you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a few days until Sora can drop to his heart station, between returning home and a flurry of preparing and planning. If his heartmates weren’t all asleep he’d suspect them of forcing him into a proper sleep every time he tries to drop, but in truth he really was just that exhausted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But make the drop he does, and Sora goes station to station, waking his heartmates in turn. He’s pretty sure Vanitas was faking it, but he doesn’t call him on it. He can only assume his heartmates are tired too, after everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re all talking, all </span>
  <em>
    <span>celebrating</span>
  </em>
  <span>, when Sora sees Xion standing at the edge, staring off into space. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything okay?” He asks as he approaches. Xion doesn’t answer at first, and for a moment he wonders if she heard him at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Xion?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s calling.” She mutters. Sora tilts his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She blinks, and turns her head to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said something was calling. What’s calling?” He asks. She squints at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you talking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doll, not even an hour old, turns its head, and Saïx would feel fear if he could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t supposed to do that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naminé doesn’t come out much. She’d barely put in an appearance at their personal ‘Congrats on Surviving!’ party. (It had originally been ‘Congrats on Mastery!’ but some adjustments had obviously been necessary.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Kairi waters the succulent on her windowsill, lies in bed, and goes to visit her, dropping down onto her heartstation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naminé sits quietly on her station, like she always does. Kairi sits next to her, like she always does too. They don’t talk at first, letting the air sit comfortably in silence with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re hiding from him, aren’t you.” Kairi says, and Naminé winces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not exactly hard, in here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kairi frowns. She’s been trying, talking to her other and trying to draw her out of her shell, but if anything… She almost seems to be withdrawing more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Naminé…” Kairi bites her lips, not wanting to make things worse. “I’m worried about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Worried?” The girl gives a little laugh. “I’m fine, there’s no need to worry about me. It’s not like anything can even really happen to me, in this place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s just it.” Kairi crosses her legs and leans forward, taking Naminé’s hands. “You’re trapped and alone except for me and… I don’t know. It feels wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” Naminé says again, but she’s staring down at their joined hands, not meeting Kairi’s eyes. “You shouldn’t worry about me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should and I’m going to.” Kairi says with determination. “I’m trying Nami, but you have to meet me halfway. I can feel the things you do, sometimes, but I can’t read your mind. Please help me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naminé’s lips purse, as if trying to hold back the words that want to pour out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how.” She whispers. Kairi sighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay. We’ll work on it.” She holds there until Naminé nods, small though it is. “And I really think you should see Haru. Or anyone other than me. You’re isolating yourself even more than you have to and I don’t think it’s good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” Is all she says. Kairi sighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just think about it, okay? Let me know.”</span>
</p><p>-</p><p>The others keep asking Sora if he's okay, and while normally Sora wouldn't mind such good natured shows of concern, it's getting to be annoying.</p><p>So he'd failed the exam through no real fault of his own. It wasn't any different than that one english teacher he used to have, who barely taught and always failed him for goofing off.</p><p>So he'd lost all his powers and had to start over from scratch. He'd done it twice, three times if one counted Castle Oblivion (not that he remembers that), it wasn't that big a deal to do it again (right?).</p><p>So Riku had to put himself in danger to save him from something he probably should have seen coming.</p><p>So he'd accidentally put all his heartmates, his friends, in danger.</p><p> </p><p>So what.</p><p>He's fine.</p><p>.... He's not fine.</p><p>He had put everyone around him in danger, and he hates it. Sometimes he wishes they weren't so forgiving of it.</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku puts off dropping to his heart station longer than he cares to admit. He’s being selfish again, but while he dropped into Sora’s dreams on instinct, he finds himself wary of somehow doing it wrong now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora seems confident of his success when he asks though, and though it does not allay Riku’s fears, he still finds himself warmed by the support.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He drops, the first time he’s done so, into his own heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He may not be a Master in name, but he likes to think he's still a quick leaner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first he only sees his own station, and then Terra’s off to the side. He remembers Sora talking about this, how stations could be hidden, and how to ask for permission. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He approaches Terra’s station, glowing in warm earth and orange tones, and stops, unexpectedly nervous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I come in?” He calls, and though he doesn’t know exactly what he’s looking for, the edge shifts in tone and he figures that’s probably his sign.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He steps in and gently tugs on Terra’s floating form. The older man stirs, blinking his eyes open sleepily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Riku?” He murmurs, then his eyes snap open, and he hops to his feet, looking around wildly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah what’s-” Riku steps back, surprised. “Terra, what’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra sees nothing, and his fists clench as his head bows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re gone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Gone?” Riku has a sneaking suspicion who he means, and feels a whole new anxiety.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ansem and Xemnas.” Terra grits his teeth. “I couldn’t stop them- I couldn’t stay awake, and he took them. I’m sorry. I wasn’t strong enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku’s heart drops.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So much for that conversation.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so first things first</p><p>i am not done kh3. in fact im on chapter 12 and im not sure im even halfway. i laugh at the days i thought kh2 was a monstrosity. so we're going back on hiatus and im so sorry. that said, because this thing is ending up so huge im debating doubling up chapter sizes and im wondering what the general preference would be- longer chapters (though the story would be finished quicker), or regular length and going as normal?</p><p>one thing i will say about kh3 so far... before i started i had been concerned it would be the most rehashy of the series, given that despite all the little changes ive made over the course of this series, xehanorts plan is the same as ever. turns out i needn't have worried. obviously im not done yet, but already kh3 is going all sorts of places that i've been having a ton of fun with. im *very* excited.</p><p>*edit</p><p>so i've had a number of people commenting on riku's 'apologies' to roxas, both now and before during kh2 and i figured i'd say something.</p><p>this is not the final talk between them. i'll talk about that a bit if you don't mind more clarity on what's to come between them</p><p>ultimately what it comes down to is that riku isn't really wording himself clearly, and he's not even sure that Roxas can hear him. While he has put some thought into what he wants to say, he hasn't completely figure it out yet, and with that comes ambiguity (am i projecting? i might be projecting).</p><p>what riku <i>means</i> is 'i don't want to choose between you for who gets to live and i'm sorry that i had to. if i had to choose between you and sora again, i'm sorry that i would still choose sora', and not 'i would re-commit every atrocity i ever did to you in my single minded grief', but unfortunately in the rush of trying to find the words on the spot that's not what comes out. maybe to some that sentiment is still not okay, and i suppose that's fair enough. this isn't a situation with a real life equivalent, and so we get our own interpretations. personally the way i'm viewing it is as an *exceptionally* shitty situation forced upon children who were not equipped mentally or emotionally to deal with it, and have been trying their best to deal with the fallout ever since.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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